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Davidisms

Live Intentionally, Die Empty

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I received a call from someone very close to me wanting to come clean and apologize. This person came clean about some issues that he had internalized against me for over 2 years. He explained that he experienced (from his perception) that I had committed an offense against him and instead of dealing with me head on at that time, he developed a great offense against me and even to a point of hatred in his heart. He said that over those 2 years when he moved to a different state he used every opportunity to slander and to harbor unforgiveness in his heart.

He told me that it took him to a very dark place within his heart and his attitude. He let me know that once he moved back he had been praying and reading his Bible and God began to minister to him about how he was acting and about love. And he called me up. I let him know how much his call meant to me and I appreciated it.

This brings me to today’s Davidism, which is a quote that I wish I had made up but I heard it from Joyce Meyer  but I’ll steal it for today:

Davidism #27: Holding on to something against someone else is like you drinking poison expecting the other person to die

It is so true. One of the things he told me was that when he was harboring those things in his heart he had an “I’ll show you” mentality, when although I had an inkling that he was upset with me, I had moved past the issue and was praying for him the whole time. I even reached out to him when he was in a financial situation. See, and the whole time it was doing damage to him inside.

Many of us take that same ride as he did. We hold on to things instead of getting to confront the issue and then taking it before God and asking him to shine a light on where we are wrong and ask him to help us out. Don’t lose years from your life holding on to a past hurt. If you can drop it off with God, do that. If you can take it a step further and resolve it with the person, do that. But holding on to the offense, drinking your own poison and letting it spiral you to a bad place… NEVER do that!

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There is no bottleneck at top. I assure you. It’s nice and roomy up there. But chances are many folks never know this because they “don’t do windows.” People are quick to let everybody know (including their boss) what’s NOT in their job descriptions and trust me… your boss is taken note. And you will never move beyond where you are until you become OVERQUALIFIED for your present position.

Davidism #22 – Learn the “do windows”: It is really easy to get ahead in life. Just be willing to do what nobody else is willing to do. There are so few people who are willing to take the slightest step to do just a little bit more that when the person in charge sees you take just a LITTLE extra effort you rise head and shoulders above the mediocre rest. And do a good job at it all. You’ll see that as you rise to the top it’s a lot less crowded up there.

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When Kanye West was first starting out rapping, he would go to his mother and tell her that was his job. As mothers tend to do she brought him a reality check and said, “Until it starts bringing in money, it’s a hobby!”

I read or heard that story somewhere and I thought how appropriate having someone to give you that type of blunt honesty is in order to motivate or correct in your own life.  One of my personal strengths is being “self honest.” Self honesty is the ability to be self aware, know the intents of your heart and motives and honestly assess your own strengths and weaknesses and to not hide behind them.

I had a self honest moment not too long ago. For years I had been defining myself as “an entrepreneur.” My profession would be to be a serial entrepreneur. But I came to realize that yes, while I do and will own more businesses… that is NOT who I am. And that is NOT what I am going to be careerwise. It was a startling awakening. I had to stop defining myself that way. There is something else that I was put on the planet for.

Davidism #20 – Cultivate Self-Honesty: Becoming a self honest person can avoid wasting years of time, tons of money and losing precious people in your life. My wife can trust that I am not making any decisions for our family based on any selfish reasons because I always tell her, “I’m not sure yet why I want to go in this direction I will check my motives to see if I’m just being selfish or whatever.” The better you judging yourself, it helps to avoid the pain of having someone else to come in and give you that reality check that Kanye’s mother had to give him. That self honesty can wake you up to jerk the slack out and become a better you.

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“Only by pride comes contention, but with the well advised is wisdom” -Proverbs 13:10

I read this passage this morning and it spoke volumes to me. It was the answer to the question why people fight or argue each other (in general).

Pride can best be described as feeling that your own way is superior to others’ way. It is feeling and showing that it’s “my way or the highway” with no consideration that you could be wrong or that there are other available options or ideas. If you are open to the idea that “it’s possible that I don’t know everything,” then you can avoid most contention issues. Because it’s at that point that others feel like they can truly talk things out with you.

I like the last part “but with the well-advised there is wisdom.” Once you get over the idea that you know-it-all you become teachable. You are able to be advised by others- even “well advised” and can add wisdom to your knowledge bank.

Davidism #19 – Stop being a know-it-all so you can Stop Having Stupid Fights!

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jordanI’m originally from the Chicago metro area and when this past weekend I got to see the Bulls fight it out against the Celtics (the Bulls lost by the way) it reminded me of the Bulls glory days so much that I got inspired to either go out and shoot hoops or to go on youtube and look at old Michael Jordan clips… I chose the latter.

While watching the clips I noticed how amazing a ball player Michael Jordan was. Second to none. But then I ran across a clip of Mike trying to play baseball. A fish out of water. But once he came back to basketball he was immediately “in his lane.”

Fast forward a few days to today: Today I was watching ABC’s The View and they had guest James Carville on. He’s the guy who was the lead strategist for Bill Clinton’s campaign and now a constant guest on CNN for all things political. After he finished he segment my wife and I commented on how smart he is. I told her, yes he is probably smart but more than being smart he is probably just “in his lane.” He is almost “Jordanesque” when talking politics.

Davidism #15- Find your lane and run in it: Discover that thing that you do that you do almost effortlessly. Once you find that it’ll make you look like a genius. It’s your lane. Anything else you do while you may be good at it you won’t be great at it.

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I wonder if as many people would have been affected by the recession if the media hadn’t been pumping the news of it day and night for the past almost 2 years (if not longer). Sure there were some people having a rough time, but when the news got wind of it, everyone stopped spending and the whole thing became a mess.

Now the news found out about the H1N1 virus, more commonly known as the Swine Flu and all of a sudden everyone has the sniffles! (Or they won’t eat bacon, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!) Seems like this country love the drama. We love the idea of panic for some reason. Love being terrified. It’s so strange. This isn’t the first time of course, remember the Bird (Avian) flu, oh and the West Nile virus? Both of these things had folks running away from parrots and mosquitoes. I think they called these ‘pandemics’. Oh and there was the time there wasn’t enough flu shots and people thought we were all going to die. And here’s another throwback… Y2k. The world was supposed to end, yet here we are.

I learned this morning, that this is not the first time that the Swine Flu has graced the stage. Back in 1976, President Ford found out that someone at a military base had contracted it and ordered that everyone get shots. It costs millions of dollars only to find out that all 500 men on the base already had contracted it yet never demonstrated any symptoms. I also learned today that those face masks that people are wearing don’t even work as a preventative. So they’ve got the entire country of Mexico walking around like the movie Outbreak. The CDC made this very clear… just use common sense and wash your hands, etc.

Davidism #14- Your perception is your reality. Don’t let someone else shape it: I am not denying the fact that these things are real. I am just challenging you to make sure you don’t take someone else’s word to create a stir. Investigate things for yourself. By the way, I still say “I’m not participating in the recession or the swine flu, I think I’ll pass”

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imagesp1People who constantly talk about the problems in their life get on my nerves. Seriously. Everytime you see them they want to tell you what’s “wrong.” In fact, when I go to work, there are certain people that when they approach me, I ask them “What’s RIGHT today” just to get them to focus on something other than all the misery.

Davidism #13-Don’t call the dog when you want the cat: What do I mean by that? When you spend more time thinking about the problems in your life you begin to talk about the problem. The talking about the problem only perpetuates it. The mind never shifts into solution mode. Instead of saying, “I can’t figure out how to pay these bills” (calling the dog) start saying “I can or am going to figure out how to get these bills paid.” (calling the cat). I know people who are constantly sad-sacking about how they will never be married and how they only attract the idiots (calling the dog) instead of saying “there are good men out there and I’m going to have one.” (calling the cat.)

Stop talking about what you don’t want and talk about what you do want so your mind can switch focus.

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