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Davidisms

Live Intentionally, Die Empty

Tag Archives: argue

For some reason people think its ok to “agree to disagree” and leave it at that. Me included.

Now I’m not so sure, particularly in close relationships. At times in order to move on with your day/life it is very important to put a conversation on the shelf – but never let it collect dust. To permanently “agree to disagree”means that you’ll eventually be revisiting the issue because the two involved failed to reach to understand where the other person is ‘coming from.’

Acknowleging another person’s perspective does not mean you agree with where they land in their opinion, but it gives you a frame of reference or the path that led to their conclusion. It’s at that point you understand them. (And not necessarily agree.) You realize that though their conclusion may be flawed, they may not necessarily have bad motives.

You can then address the issue from a more sympathetic stance and maybe even reach a certain point of agreement and avoid potentially eroding the relationship because people feel misunderstood.

There is very little worse than that feeling.

Davidism #28 – Don’t agree to disagree. Reach to understand.

It’s okay to temporarily agree to disagree but make sure to find out if you truly disagree by first trying to understand the other person’s position not by trying to defend your corner.

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“Only by pride comes contention, but with the well advised is wisdom” -Proverbs 13:10

I read this passage this morning and it spoke volumes to me. It was the answer to the question why people fight or argue each other (in general).

Pride can best be described as feeling that your own way is superior to others’ way. It is feeling and showing that it’s “my way or the highway” with no consideration that you could be wrong or that there are other available options or ideas. If you are open to the idea that “it’s possible that I don’t know everything,” then you can avoid most contention issues. Because it’s at that point that others feel like they can truly talk things out with you.

I like the last part “but with the well-advised there is wisdom.” Once you get over the idea that you know-it-all you become teachable. You are able to be advised by others- even “well advised” and can add wisdom to your knowledge bank.

Davidism #19 – Stop being a know-it-all so you can Stop Having Stupid Fights!

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