September 2, 2009 Call Me Insensitive: Women’s Excuses
Look, call me insensitive (my wife already did) but sometimes I think that women use the excuse of being a woman, or women’s issues or having kids as an excuse for everything and as a means to excuse them from doing things that the average person can manage with a little effort.
Let me provide background: My wife and I were having a discussion about somebody that we know that mentioned that she wanted to start exercising again but had kids so it made it difficult. I absolutely understand the challenge that is posed for parents, women in particular, to do ANYTHING much less take the time to go and exercise. But in my mind the operative word is “DIFFICULT” not impossible.
I expressed to my wife that I can see how challenging that is but that challenge is overcome just like any other ‘time’ challenge – by making it one of the priorities. I explained my position that there is always going to be only 24 hours in each of our days and we have to decide how we are going to spend those hours. Granted, with many mothers much of that time is already decided for her with taking care of her kids but kids that are on schedules wake up at a certain time and are put to bed (usually early) at a certain time. The discretionary time at that point is up to that mother to spend as she chooses.
After I explained this my wife said “sometimes you are insensitive to woman’s issues. Men don’t have to be concerned with the things that mothers have to be concerned with.” Aside from me being insensitive, I agree whole-heartedly with my wife, woman have a whole set of situations that men usually aren’t keen on recognition of (without effort) and unfortunately its to our own chagrin. However, that’s not the point I was making. My point is – if that women truly desired to exercise, she could make a quality decision to find the time to do just that. The reason why that’s true is because if the doctor told her that if she didn’t find time to exercise daily that a terminal illness would be the end result she would miraculously find the time!
What’s worse is that this woman in question’s sister (who also has kids) made the quality decision to get in shape and she somehow found the time. Imagine that! And many other mothers do it every single day. So the moment somebody else is able to pull it off it immediately eliminates excuses and statements of impossibility.
So call me insensitive. And since I’ve been marked as insensitive let me go the entire way:
(Side note: I am not talking about my own wife in these examples. I am speaking in general terms)
I don’t like the PMS excuse for acting out of harmony with proper character and courtesy. Yes I understand that things are hormonal and I’ll never understand how uncomfortable women are in that situation but does it justify mistreatment?
I don’t like how just because my boss is a woman and has kids that her day off from work to read at her child’s school is more important than my day off for handling a situation prevalent to my own stage in life.
I don’t like that just because women are innately stronger in areas that they think that it justifies them belittling a man’s contribution or even his manhood.
I’m not saying that these aren’t valid REASONS, but being a woman shouldn’t be an EXCUSE!
Allow me to explain the difference:
Excuse: something that grants exemption or release; serves as justification for
Reason: cause; explanation
I may be absolutely wrong, and if I am, God help me and I’ll change, but using being a woman as an excuse I think subconsciously is limiting women from achieving more.
But maybe I’m just insensitive and not seeing it. What do you think?