May 29, 2009 Gasoline versus Water
I had to check in to let you know what’s been on my mind this morning. I have been studying communication in relationships recently and found myself in Proverbs 15:1 which says
“A gentle answer deflects or defuses anger, but harsh words make tempers flair”
Whoa! Can you remember the last time somebody (especially with spouses) came up to you in a bad mood spewing venom and it got under your skin and you answered in a sharp, bitter tone yourself too.
Of course you did, they brought that noise to you, right? They put YOU in a bad mood. But unfortunately all you did was pour gasoline on an already lit fire. Dang! Think about this: You carry two buckets in that situation, one with gasoline and one with water. It’s up to you how you want to spend the rest of your day.
When you use water (answer delicately) you are considering that person. And you responded in a way that doesn’t add fuel to the fire actually defuses the potential bomb that was ready to go off. Doing this is a HUGE act of love on your part because not only does it deflect the anger from you but helps to rid the anger in that other person too. (And potentially anybody else they were going to attack next, like if they were planning to kick the dog.)
Gasoline or water?