March 31, 2009 Ok, we know why you’re crazy, now what?
I had a “discussion” (read argument) with my wife Thea yesterday about something that I can’t remember right now, (probably because it was small and we just need a vacation) and the conversation somehow took a turn about little idiosyncracies that irritate us about each other.
One of the ones that I do that irritate her was that sometimes I tend to repeat something over and over again until I feel like what I said had been acknowledged. For instance, Sunday on the way to church I saw a friend of ours and his wife had driven separate cars to church. I made mention , “Hey, I wonder why Billy and Sally took separate cars this morning?” No response. A moment later, “Yep, that’s their cars alright, that’s weird that they would take separate cars, wonder why they did that.” No real response, just something that seemed like a mumble. A few moments pass. “Honey, why would they take separate cars and then park right next to each other?” Not a peep.
Now, it wasn’t so much that I was enthralled with finding the answer as to why they had two different cars as much as I wanted to be acknowledged that I was speaking. When I think back on it, I realize that it comes from my past where there were times when my parents, who had a house of four eccentric children, would be so tired of the noise that when we would talk to them after a long day, they would not immediately answer… like they just needed a childless moment. So I learned to pester until I got acknowledged. So now I’ve figured out the root of my issue. Now what?
Davidism #8 Regardless of the traceable origins of your behavior you are still held accountable for what you do. This is so true a davidism! Great, I have been able to identify why I do crazy things, but it is now up to me to make the proper adjustment. I can’t lean on the fact that I know why I am the way I am and expect people to understand and accept my annoying behavior. They can consider it as I work on improving but you should never expect someone else to shoulder the burden of the relationship, ever! That’s not walking in love. Take Chris Brown and Rhianna for example. Chris Brown used the excuse that he saw his parents abuse each other which is why he assaulted Rhianna when the relationship took a bad turn, but now that he’s able to identify the root cause- it is up to him to make a change. The same is true for you… Find out why you are crazy and then change!